In the list of things that I don’t care about, whether or not Miley Cyrus is too young to dress like a bimbo is right up there at the top. It’s big news on the entertainment shows and clogging the tubes of the Interweb, along with what is going to happen to the short dead black guy’s body. Which I also don’t care anything about a lot, so much so in fact that I can’t remember his name.
Children are the future!
Gary Coleman. That’s him. The little creepy dude who was in that show. I don’t care at all what happens to his body, as long as I don’t have to keep tripping over the blasted thing. Make up your mind and get it out of here already, willya?
I also don’t give a rat’s ass about BP executives making idiotic remarks about “the little people” and suchlike. They’re goddamned foreigners, so what can you expect? I do care that they get the leak plugged and pay through the eyeballs to clean up their mess, but they can say any damned fool thing they want as long as they keep writing the checks.
I also don’t care if President Obama looks angry enough. That’s entirely unimportant to me. I do care that the Federal response to the catastrophe seems slow and disjointed, and that nobody has convinced me that we’ll be better able to handle the next such disaster that occurs (and there will be another one, you betcher). I totally care about that − to the extent that it makes me kinda nauseous to think about it.
But that leaves me little room to care at all about Miley Cyrus, Gary Coleman, or that Julianne Hough is going to star in the “Footloose” remake.
What?
Hang on a second. Julianne Hough is cute as a bug. Why the hell is she appearing in yet another bogus remake of another lame ’80s entertainment title? Julianne, you’re wasting your talents here!
Julianne Hough would look great in harem pajamas.
You should be appearing in a remake of “I Dream of Jeannie,” which is a brilliant ’60s entertainment title featuring a scantily-clad bimbette eager to fill her master’s every wishes. You’d be totally hot as Jeannie.
But I digress.
Miley Cyrus, you go girl! You’re a star and almost 18 years old, by which time your 15 minutes of fame will almost certainly be over, thank God. In the meantime, dress however you like. I just don’t care.
Julianne, call me.
I'm Just Sayin' 