Good Faith Negotiations

Dude's got a really big hammer, don't he? Gotta respect that.

Respect the Hammer.

As you are no doubt aware, the US Government has been shut down. There is a lot of ill-informed nattering from the lamestream liberal media about who is ultimately to blame, but upon sober reflection I think we can all agree that it’s totally Barack Obama’s fault. It’s his unwillingness to negotiate in good faith with the House Republicans merely because they are holding a gun to the head of the American people and demanding that he scrap his signature achievement, Obamacare.

How selfish is that?

The House Republicans are trying to be flexible, see? Speaker Boehner and them other good old boys keep telling us that they want to negotiate. Do they enjoy shutting down national parks, food safety organizations, and cancer research for little kids? Don’t be foolish. It’s not their fault. If only Harry Reid and Obama would just come to the table, then everything could be worked out.

And I have to agree with them. Obama and Reid should come to the table.

I see the conversation going like this:

Speaker Boehner:  Thank you, Mr. President, for agreeing to delay the Affordable Care Act. Your willingness to compromise in this will greatly help to heal the nation.

President Obama: Certainly, Mr. Speaker. We can all agree that the most important thing is to get the government running. Of course we have a few modest requests of our own that we hope you will be equally flexible about.

Speaker Boehner: Uh, sure.

President Obama: First, a complete assault weapons ban, effective immediately. Gun magazine capacity limited to 17 bb’s.

Speaker Boehner: Say what?

President Obama: Plastic bb’s. Next, a Federally-funded abortion clinic in each Congressional district. All of them named after Bella Abzug.

Speaker Boehner: You can’t be serious –

President Obama: And finally, mandatory gay marriages for everybody! You can be my little bitch.

Speaker Boehner: Now wait a damned minute!

President Obama: Of course, in the interests of flexibility, we would be willing to negotiate with you on these requests. Hell, we’ll even go so far as to rescind two of ours in return for one of yours, say the abortion clinics and the assault weapons ban in return for Obamacare. We cannot budge on the “you’re my bitch” one, I’m afraid. The American people have spoken on that.

Speaker Boehner: [cries].

The Moral of the Story

Once you decide that it’s okay to hold the American people hostage to achieve the goals that you’ve been unable to achieve through legitimate political action, then where does it end? Does only one side get to use that strategy? What’s to stop us Democratic yahoos from doing the same thing next week, to get one of our pet issues passed?

It’s a big fucking can o’ worms, and for the sake of the nation President Obama cannot knuckle under.

I’m not certain that the House Republicans have totally thought this one through. Do they have any idea what they’re subjecting the country to, where we could end up? Hell, maybe Obama should drop all demands except that the GOP members all take a basic civics class. Or that they have their heads surgically removed from their asses.

Cuz freedom.

Today’s Poll

Not totally certain this has anything to do with the blog. Sorry.

Not totally certain this has anything to do with the blog. Sorry.


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2 Responses to “Good Faith Negotiations”

  1. Coffee T. Says:

    Where is “Mr. Stewardess’s” right hand? And is that related to Speaker Boehner in some way?

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