No Comment

We hate trolls. A lot.

Angry Baby really hates trolls.

I came across this amazing notice from Popular Science the other day. Their web guys have decided to turn off the Comments on their articles, because studies show that reading obnoxious commentary from brain-dead trolls make us stupid. Er. Stupider.

You should really check it out. It’ll fill you with rage.

In short, it turns out that your horrible Facebook friend who loudly and vociferously doubts climate science and evolution and the existence of the Lizard People in the highest levels of the government can have a serious effect on others’ perception of reality.

It works like this:

Expert: We need to cut back on carbon emissions because pollution is bad.

Commenter: You suck. I hate you. You don’t know what you’re talking about. America needs jobs. I hope you die. You’re probably a Democrat. Obama is from Kenya, asshole.

Reader: Hmmm. This Commenter feller sure is vehement. Maybe pollution isn’t that bad.

Sounds idiotic, don’t it? Read the article.

Frankly, this might explain why some parts of the United States are going backwards. Previously settled questions of science appear to be once more open to debate, and creationists are helping to choose biology textbooks in Texas.

What the hell is up with Texas, anyway? They’re shutting down women’s health clinics, they can’t afford to keep their roads paved, and they’re rejecting science in their science textbooks. Is the 12th century hip again? Is stupid the new cool?

Jesus. Good luck attracting high-tech jobs in your new Dark Ages, Texas. Low taxes are swell and all, but who wants to live in a place with bad roads, no health clinics and where people with cell phones are burned as witches?

So listening to nutjobs like Ted actually makes you stupider? Why doesn't this surprise me?

So listening to wackadoodles like ol’ Ted here actually makes you stupider. Why doesn’t this surprise me?

Happily, I’m in San Francisco. We may all secretly believe that John Lennon has been reincarnated as a humpbacked whale and that chia enemas hold the keys to immortality, but we’re not crazy enough to put that nonsense in our textbooks.

Anyway, it may be time to block your obnoxious spammer troll pals. They’re doing real damage*. With luck they’ll all move to Texas, where they’ll get Chlamydia due to lack of health clinics.

Fortunately, I understand you can cure that with leeches. At least that’s what it says in the Texas textbooks.

EDITED, 5:10pm, California time: To correctly spell “leeches.” Goddammit. 


*Also they piss me the fuck off.


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2 Responses to “No Comment”

  1. S. Houston Says:

    You have left commenting on for your blog, which seems… ummm… unwise after pissing off all the trolls.

    However, I will only make a helpful correction to one of the many mistatments and distortions in your article that is exactly what one would expect from someone of your ethnic group, location, political party, and forehead shape, whatever those are:

    It is not illegal to use cell-phones in Texas. To the contrary, you are required to use them while merging onto the highway–preferably to download country music ringtones. What IS required, which seems to confuse you northerners (or whoever) is that the schools will teach that cell phones work by angels carrying secrete messages from phone to phone (or else from Jesus telling you to buy lots of guns). That whole thing about invisible waves of electromagnetic radiation is a complete hoax. I heard about it on the radio.

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