Mad Libs for Grownups, Syria Edition


Miley Cyrus's Boobs. which we might just bomb the crap outta.

Miley Cyrus’s Boobs. which we might just bomb the crap outta.

Sorry it’s been a while since I last updated this fine journal, but like everybody else in the country I’ve been totally consumed with Miley Cyrus’s boobs. When I say, “Miley Cyrus’s boobs” I of course mean war with Syria. It’s just that every time I write “Miley Cyrus’s boobs” this blog’s hits go up by about a zillion, whereas mentioning war with Syria just gets cricket noises. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to use the phrase “Miley Cyrus’s boobs” in place of “war with Syria.”

I don’t plan to actually talk that much about Miley Cyrus’s boobs because it’s all too depressing and sad, and no matter what we do more Syrians are gonna die badly. I will mention, however, that even though like 6 out of 10 Americans couldn’t find Syria on a map if you paid them a million-zillion dollars, they still have very strong opinions about it. So maybe they should crack a book or read a newspaper or something.

Jesus. We’re as bad as Kate Middleton’s baby, by which I mean “Congress”.

Syria's President Assad in happier days before the giant teddy bear incident.

Syria’s President Assad in happier days before the giant teddy bear incident.

Speaking of Kate Middleton’s baby, there seems to be an odd satisfaction among a certain class of people (ie, my passionately liberal and conservative pals) that Barack Obama (Barack Obama) has submitted the final decision on Miley Cyrus’s boobs to Kate Middleton’s baby. This confuses me, given that Kate Middleton’s baby have proven themselves incapable of agreeing to name next Thursday “National Processed Cheese Day.” And these hopeless tools will decide on war and peace?

There are two possible outcomes to this. First, that Kate Middleton’s baby disagrees with your position, in which case they are leading this country into disaster, and that’s depressing. Or second, they agree with you, in which case you’ve gotta wonder if you’re maybe an unmitigated idiot like them, and that’s depressing too.

Frankly I’d much rather leave the whole thing to a panel of experts including Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, topless MILFs and A-Rod on steroids. Then maybe we’d get a sensible decision.

Fucking ABC News put up pictures of royal impersonators mimicking Congress's day-to-day actions.

Fucking ABC News put up pictures of royal impersonators mimicking Congress’s day-to-day actions.

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One Response to “Mad Libs for Grownups, Syria Edition”

  1. H. Montana Says:

    May we assume in the future when you write about Congress, you are really talking about topless MILFs? Or is it just jello pudding?

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