LinkedOut

Are you familiar with LinkedIn? It’s a networking site that specializes in finding jobs for tech folks not unlike myself. It allows you to put up your resume, get in touch with potential employers and so forth. One of the neat features of LinkedIn is that it has a “Skills & Expertise” section wherein friends and co-workers can “endorse” you for mightiness in some job-skill: say, C++ Coding, Excel, Product Management, Character Animation, or Hiding Money in Off-Shore Banks. It’s a good way to get a quick handle on a prospective employee’s abilities.

Usually. Unless that is you have friends who are comedians*.

Checking into LinkedIn this morning, I discovered that four of my friends have endorsed me for “Goats.” Four of ‘em. Compare that if you will with the two friends/co-workers who have endorsed me for “Narrative” – the skill for which I am actually gainfully employed – and you get an idea of the respect and reverence with which I am held in my professional community.

Now I’m not saying that I’m totally unfamiliar with Goats. In fact, my wife and I own a goat, and have owned others in the past. As pets. But my goat expertise extends to knowing how to shovel their poop and being projectile-vomited on by them when they eat poisonous plants. That’s it. My wife’s the animal expert, and my friends damned well know it.

The fiendish thing about this gag is that the process is self-perpetuating. Now that several people have endorsed me for Goats, other friends and co-workers will be randomly asked if I am indeed experienced in Goats. A good number will snigger and say, YES, and soon Goats will be my top-rated skill.

This may have some effect upon my ability to get future employment in computer-gaming, though it will probably ease my transition into the growing field of Goats.

How hard could it be, anyway?

That’s the inherent problem with a system like LinkedIn. It  relies on a certain level of honesty/seriousness by its users, and once people fully grasp its potential for childish pranks and cheap jabs at friends’ expense, it’s dead. Has LinkedIn had its IPO yet? I sure hope so, because shit’s about to get real.

This goat-boy is gonna get even.

Top Ten New Skills for My Friends

(YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

C–

Twerking

Stigmata

Jihad

Flensing

Buffy/Tara FanFic

Hortator

Cramps

Getting Boob Signed by Brent Spiner at DragonCon

Platelets

 ____________________________________________________

*That is, assholes.

Tags: culture, employment, friends, goats, humor, IPO, jobs, LinkedIn, skills, twerking, vengeance