Why I’m Not Dead


It occurred to me today that the only reason I’m not dead is because about a year ago I got a bad case of the sheebies. When I found this modest-sized lump in my belly I went to the doctor. She had no idea what it was. She said that I could have it out immediately or wait and see if it went away.

I oogled coeds and drank quite a lot of beer in this sports bar last weekend after not dying. I plan to continue doing so.

Now the idea of waiting around with some unknown thing inside me gave me the sheebies, so I had it out. And of course it turned out to be a really unpleasant form of cancer which hadn’t metastasized yet. If I had waited, I might be seriously dead now.

I guess the moral here is to pay attention to your sheebies and you may have a chance to grow old alongside your wonderful wife — and to see the Colts open a season 0-3. And that, my friends, makes it all worthwhile.

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2 Responses to “Why I’m Not Dead”

  1. doormouse Says:

    You are officially the only site that google sees that contains “case of the sheebies”

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