Playing Ketchup

So last year I was diagnosed with cancer. This resulted in surgery to remove a chunk of belly-fat, followed by months of radiation treatments. This in turn was followed by a lot of depression and exhaustion, despite being cancer-free. But I’ve spent several months working half-time in Texas eating Texas barbecue, and now I’m ALL BETTER. So it’s time to start up the blog again.

What to talk about?

Chickens? We just got some. They live in the back yard, in my mighty chicken coop. We ordered 8 and ended up with 13. They run around and eat bugs and other stuff we throw at them. They totally ignore the dogs in the run next to the yard, who would desperately like to see the color of their insides, and the chickens actually seem to enjoy the company of our lazy-ass cats, who are too lazy to eat them. We expect the chickens to start pooping out eggs in a couple of weeks, and then we’ll have like a dozen a day to get rid of. Any suggestions?

Click here to see my deeply moving video, “Political Science”

How about the garden? It’s fairly successful, which means that we now have roughly 25 cucumbers the size of footballs languishing in our kitchen. Fortunately the chickens like ’em. Who knew? We’re still in the “Ooo, a fresh tomato!” phase of the summer, but we know that the “OMG not ANOTHER frickin’ tomato” phase is coming fast. There’s a big hole in the corner of the garden in which lives something which eats jalapeno pepper plants. Bastard lazy-ass cats won’t touch it, and my wife won’t let me rent a flame-thrower after that last incident, so we’re stuck.

I suppose we could talk about politics, but I don’t think I’m emotionally strong enough yet. I will say, however, that it’s a good thing that the Republicans are putting up such a lame field of presidential hopefuls in the election, because Obama is showing Jimmy-Carter-levels of leadership, and we know how that worked out — eight years of the Gipper. Sheesh. If this continues I may have found a use for all them eggs — I just have to work on my aim.

Note: The above picture is a link to a video I made, so click on it. It’s harmless.


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4 Responses to “Playing Ketchup”

  1. Chickens my butt! Says:

    You’re just trying to ignore how terrible your Giants are going to be this year. Soon it will be autumn, the garden will be quiescent, and you’ll have to face reality.

    • Paul Murphy Says:

      Mark Sanchez is the backup QB in my fantasy football team. That’s “backup” QB, as in “Not good enough to start.” Just saying.

  2. Full health disclosure Says:

    We’re all glad that your health is so much better, but in the interests of full disclosure, many of your readers feel that, following the august example of Kim Kardashian, you ought to post x-rays of your ass. Only then will this matter be fully put to rest and all questions answered.

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