This Blog is NOT About Lindsay Lohan!


So okay. It’s been a while since I’ve written my blog. So sue me, I have some pretty good excuses. First, my dog Ebby died. Then the very next week my wife’s dog Jetta died. Both of these events were quite depressing and not particularly good subjects for a light humorous blog. Then I got a cool new job – the same day that a bunch of my soon-to-be ex-co-workers were laid off, pretty much sucking all the joy out of that blessed event.

However, time has a way of healing all wounds. Especially if you take a week off between jobs to construct a bitching new chicken coop in the back yard. That’ll heal nearly anything.

This is a photo of my chicken coop under construction, NOT of Lindsay Lohan's prison cell.

You should try it. It is seriously cool. Power-tools, heat exhaustion, repeated trips to the home improvement store, teetering on tall ladders drilling stuff in 100-degree-plus weather – it’s a total adrenaline rush. Do you have any idea how much I frickin’ sweat? I was going through four tee shirts a day.

Still, it’s worth it, in the sense that when you’re done you have a huge structure in your back yard to hold chickens. And who wouldn’t want that?

According to our sources, Lindsay Lohan is totally not starring in the remake of this movie.

It’s not complete yet, but it should be by tomorrow or Sunday. Then we’ll get chicks. This will give my wife’s new puppies something to chase and eat.

Oh, didn’t I mention the new puppies? There’s a bitch and dog pointer. They’re pretty cool. They nap, yip, and poop. I’m sure they’ll have many fun adventures amongst the chicken entrails.

In the meantime, my new job starts on Monday. More info on that as time passes and I run out of Lindsay Lohan prison material. And assuming that lying, race-baiting Tea Party hero asshole Andrew Breitbart doesn’t take part of this blog out of context and make me look like a chicken-hating left-wing loony so’s I get fired.

Which would be unfair. I like chickens! They’re totally nummy!

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