From the Political Desk

Hat Dance

Now that it’s illegal to wear a sombrero in Arizona without carrying proof of citizenship, all of our immigration problems are finally over. Thank God Governor Jan Brewer has shown the visionary courage to declare war on brown people. Already, Mexico’s government has issued an advisory to Mexican citizens warning them against traveling in Arizona, noting, “[I]t must be assumed that every Mexican citizen may be harassed and questioned without further cause at any time.”

Well done, Governor Brewer! If all legal Mexican visitors stay out of Arizona, then anybody brown who is left must be illegal and should be rounded up and deported.

I'm not exactly sure where she would keep them, but Jennifer Lopez would totally be subject to arrest if she lounged around seductively in Arizona without her papers.

Incidentally, here’s the text from the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution of the US:

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

But that’s not the Amendment that lets us keep our guns, so to fuck with it. Brewer is to be commended for her bold action against illegal foreigners and those who look like them.

Bi (Partisan) Curious

Big news: Republican Senator Lindsay Graham has been cooperating with Democrats on Immigration reform and various other matters because he’s secretly gay and being blackmailed by Democrats! This shocking revelation was made by William Gheen of the Americans for Legal Immigration Political Action Committee (ALIPAC), who revealed the startling facts at a recent Tea Party rally in South Carolina.

Curses! Fellow Democrats, our fiendish plot has been discovered! However did they learn the truth?

Apparently, Lindsey Graham's secret is out.

Crabs for Crabs?

Republican Sue Lowden, who is challenging Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) for his senate seat in Nevada, has come up with a brilliant plan. She believes that the Healthcare Reform Act be repealed. In its place, she suggests that patients can keep their healthcare costs down by bartering with their doctors rather than paying them in money. Failing to see the elegant simplicity of her plan, the “Negative Nelly” Democrats have labeled it “Chickens for Checkups” and mocked it mercilessly.

Fortunately, Nevada’s astute voters have seen through the Democrats’ desperate ploy, and Lowden still leads Reid in the polls.

Clearly Lowden is just the kind of person we need in the Senate! Great work, Nevada!

Editor’s Note

So WTF? Am I missing something? Just how frickin’ incompetent must the Democrats be when they’re getting beaten up by the party that puts these clowns in positions of power or runs them in important elections? Jeeze. Maybe Obama needs to do a buddy movie with Tom Hanks or something.


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3 Responses to “From the Political Desk”

  1. JLB Says:

    Like all the parts about JLo…. But dunno about Lindsey Graham doin’ the nekked dance…

  2. sher Says:

    what would JLo do?

    and in other news, a mass of our population are marxists: this particular type:

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