Twenty Questions

1. I don’t want to eat anything cooked in a product endorsed by Mr. T. Does that make me a bad person?

2. Did you know that there’s a Barak Obama Chia Pet? Now that you know, don’t you secretly want one?

Maybe the worst thing I have ever seen.

3. Would the term “sprightly old geezer” be perjorative if I applied it to the sprightly old geezer selling the Teeter Board?

4. How long do you think I can go in this blog before saying something derogatory about Joe “Deputy Droopalong” Lieberman?

5. Who do you think is a better investment advisor: Jim Cramer of “Mad Money” or his bobble head?

6. If I get “six pack abs,” can I keep my “quarter-keg ass”?

7. If worst comes to worst, why couldn’t we use “nuclear winter” to cancel out “global warming?”

8. Which health insurance company will Joe Lieberman lobby for after he quits the Senate, and how much do you think they’ll pay him for screwing over his constituency?

9. If Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin were in an Octagon of Death Cage Wrestling Match, who would emerge victorious?

10. If the Octagon of Death Cage were filled with jello, how much would you pay to see that match?

11. What do the Black Eyed Peas mean when they say, “I got that boom, boom, boom, How the beat bang, boom, boom, boom”? Is it naughty?

12. Why does my dog Oscar need to pee everywhere that any other dog has peed, and isn’t that essentially the same instinct that makes me comment on so many FaceBook status updates?

Why does this clown still have a job, anyway?

13. Why do men feel so uncomfortable when they buy their wives underwear, while women have no such feelings when they buy men underwear?

14. If you see a guy carrying a Victoria’s Secret bag, don’t you deep down inside suspect that he’s a pervert?

15. What are the chances that I’ll be able to go an entire holiday season without ever hearing “Another Auld Lang Syne” or any other goddamned Dan Fogelberg song?

16. What kind of person sends her monumentally clueless husband out to purchase clothing for her teen-age niece for Christmas?

17. Does she secretly hate her niece?

18. How about her husband? Does she secretly hate him?

19. Is she getting even with him for that salad shooter he got her last year?

20. You’re not going to tell Mr. T what I said about his fine product, are you?


Bonus Question:  Apparently there are roughly a zillion blogs titled, “I’m Just Sayin’.” I’m thinking about changing the name of this one and I’m looking for suggestions. The word “poop” does not necessarily have to appear in the new title, but of course it probably should.



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7 Responses to “Twenty Questions”

  1. The Other White Meat Says:

    You’d think I could come up with a good name for a blog with “poop” in it, but I am defeated, I cannot. Maybe something palindromic…?

  2. Liz Murphy Says:

    I liked number 9 until I read number 10. Numbers 16-18 make me fear for my children.

  3. poop is my bidness Says:

    If anyone counts out Hilary Clinton, they are making a mistake–jello or just normal mud. I’m glad she’s on my side finally (now that she’s not pretending to be my senator). Sarah could shoot her, but I don’t think she would die.

    Why are you worried that there are other blogs with names like yours? Are you afraid that your paying customers will patronize the other blogs instead? The reverse seems more likely at the moment.

    • Paul Murphy Says:

      I keep waiting for her to be revealed as a terminator. Say. Don’t you think they’d be great as Ginger and Maryann in a Gilligan’s Island remake? Joe Biden could be Gilligan, and John McCain could be the Skipper!

      • poop is my bidness Says:

        I saw that movie with John McCain as the skipper, and it was Sarah who shipwrecked the boat. But the fearless crew was not afraid of Russia, even though it was in view from her boat.

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