Job Security

Broadly speaking, people are crazy. They do things that no other creatures would, like eating themselves to death, or polluting the world to the point where it will no longer sustain life, or watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” And yet we’re the most populous species on the planet! (Okay, outside of bugs and ameobas. And viruses. Shut up: I’m making a point here.) Anyway, we must have been pretty clever and successful once; how did we become the boneheads we are today?

I wonder if there isn’t some sort of evolutional “Peter Principle” at work. Remember “The Peter Principle?” It was a book written in the late ’60s by Dr. Lawrence J Peter.  In it, he said, “In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” It was a brilliant theory that explained a lot about the way that governments and large corporations worked. Basically, If you excel at a position, you get promoted to another position. If you excel there, you get promoted again. Eventually you reach a position that you’re incompetent at, and so you’re no longer promoted. You’re stuck there making horrible decisions until somebody higher-up realizes you’re an idiot and gives you the boot. In short, you’ve turned into the general manager of the Buffalo Bills.

(Just kidding! I’m sure that hiring Terrell Owens was totally a master-stroke, and he’ll do as much for the Bills as he has for the past three teams he’s worked for.)

So if it happens to us as individuals, maybe it can happen to us as a species. If you look around the world, you see a lot of people doing stuff that makes no sense whatsoever – like piercing their tongues, or shooting somebody over a parking space, or making Sarah Palin their running-mate. So again, I have to ask, have we reached our evolutional “level of incompetence?”

I certainly hope so! I’m writing this blog to chronicle some of the wacky, zany, and downright crazy stuff that we as a species do, and if we stop doing it I’ll have nothing to write about.

Fortunately that seems highly unlikely. Despite all of our technological progress (by which I mean the increased speed at which I can download Internet porn and lolcat pictures), we’re still lovable knuckleheads who invade the wrong country by mistake and allow our children to eat a substance called “Froot Loops.” So my future at least seems secure.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go watch “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” OMG! That Danielle is totally hot!

I’m just saying is all.

Paul Murphy



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9 Responses to “Job Security”

  1. Yr Frnd Tammy Says:

    Excellent. Now you can pontificate with the rest of us in a much more educated manner. Love it.

  2. Susan Says:

    This is SO your medium.

  3. wrekehavoc Says:

    danielle looks like a bug.

  4. Yr Frnd Tammy Says:

    Dear Mr. McVictim:

    How do I get rid of all these ads telling me, as a mother, that Obama wants me to go back to school? I don’t want to an education. I don’t want a job. I want to be taken care of and eat bon-bons all day long. I want a nanny and a sports car and I want to TALK about working out but never actually do it.


    Too busy online shopping to go to online college

    • Paul Murphy Says:

      Dear Tammy:

      Clearly the Internets is not for you: it’s far too interactive. I recommend that you watch a lot of BRAVO Channel TV and never, EVER, reproduce.


      Mr. Victim

  5. Highly Evolved Says:

    According to the Peter Principle (WHICH I HAVE ACTUALLY READ!), when you reach your level of incompetence, your boss is unlikely to actually fire you. You will most likely linger in your position until you retire. The most one can hope for is a lateral move, such as being moved to the Baltimore office.

    If your analogy applies to the human race, then, it suggests that our Boss will let us sleep in our own poop indefinitely… unless those damn death panels get us!

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